Let’s Talk About It: Dealing with Grief During the Holidays

The holidays may be filled with joy and excitement for some, but for people who have lost a loved one, the holidays can be a difficult time. This time of year has been engraved into our society as a time to spend with loved ones, and that can trigger intense emotions when you’re grieving. Others may feel guilt for celebrating without the person they lost. All of these feelings are normal, and there are some things you can do to make it easier to handle.

1. Give grief a place at the table

Don’t ignore grief—lean into it and acknowledge that it’s there. Some find comfort in knowing they cared so much for the person that they’re still holding space for them. Talk with friends, family, or your therapist about your feelings so they can be aware and help normalize conversations about grief and loss.

2. Include them in holiday traditions

Some people find joy in feeling a connection to their lost loved one—adding a picture of them to your Christmas tree, making their favorite dish, or participating in a tradition they used to do. Whatever works for your comfort level.

3. Setting boundaries

Setting boundaries during the holidays doesn’t need to be difficult. You might avoid certain songs that trigger intense emotions, agree to only one holiday dinner rather than several (or none), or skip certain activities. Make it clear to others what is and isn’t comfortable for you right now.

4. Keeping busy

Keeping busy can help keep your mind and body active. Some find it easier to pick up a new hobby, while others enjoy volunteering or helping others. It’s all up to what fits best for you during your time of grief.

The Bottom Line

There is no “right” way to grieve the loss of a loved one. The most vital thing is to stay true to yourself during the holiday season. Do what you need to take care of yourself and what feels right for you.